at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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