): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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