i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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