White coat. Heels.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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