so explain again why im purple
no
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
