You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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