so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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