Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
