Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
