I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
