im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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