Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
