Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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