Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize