ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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