If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
