Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
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oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
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Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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