And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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