She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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