I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
