I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
