What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
