I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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