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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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