Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
