girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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