I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize