five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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