I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
