2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
