You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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