I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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