A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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