it wasn't lemon gatorade
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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