What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
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he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
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I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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