I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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