Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
