That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
