She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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