There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
