I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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