I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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