I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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