youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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