I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize