why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
