Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you mean i was at the winter classic?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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