were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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