yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
