haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize