You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize