It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
