Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....

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(607): View more from New York

You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?

(405): View more from Oklahoma

No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.

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(847): View more from Illinois

why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.

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(917): View more from New York City

I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.

(917): View more from New York City

Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.

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(586): View more from Michigan

so how was last night?

(1-586): View more from Michigan

got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.

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(206): View more from Washington

I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia

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(319): View more from Iowa

Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs

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(519): View more from Ontario

I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.

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