i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
