he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
