would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
wanna go halves on a baby?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
