You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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