when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
