You made me cry and you don't even care
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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