Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
