Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
