it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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