shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
