Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
