fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
its not stalking. its research.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
