peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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